10-wedding-mistakes to-avoid-what-not-to-do-at-your-wedding

10 wedding mistakes to avoid: what not to do at your wedding

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What are the 10 worst wedding mistakes to avoid on your big day? As a wedding planner, I have the pleasure to work with many couples in love and ready to plan their future life together. And in almost all cases, I have come across some of these wedding mistakes.

I don’t like calling them “mistakes”. They are often just behaviours so profoundly linked to the traditional way of dealing with marriage that it is almost natural to fall into them!

During the article, we will understand the importance of having a professional on our side already during the first steps of the organization…most mistakes are right at the beginning of this trip!

Let’s see which they are and how we can avoid them to make sure we enjoy one of the best days of our life to the fullest.


The first of the wedding mistakes to avoid: do not listening to our wishes

Although this will not be a ranking, if it were, “not listening to their own wishes” would undoubtedly be on the podium of the couple’s mistakes. During the wedding organization, there’s always an amount of uncertainty. There are many things to do, messy ideas and sometimes too little time! Therefore, what seems natural to do is asking for opinions: to the mother, the aunt, the friends, the mother-in-law. To all those who have walked this incredible path to marriage before us.

The problem is that the risk of getting involved in models and preferences very far from our own is high. The spouses should instead limit themselves to asking for opinions, share ideas, and find solutions. However, the couple should never be conditioned to the point of making someone else decide for a day that it shouldn’t belong to anyone but them.

But be careful: the opinions of relatives and friends are not the only ones that push us not to follow our wishes.

Another common mistake in the picture era of Instagram and Pinterest, is to fall in love with models, styles, and projections, which do not reflect us. Marriage is not a competition for the most “instagrammable” of your group of friends’ weddings, but it is the day when your love is celebrated.

Be sure to follow your wishes and not those of the famous influencers on the other side of the world!

Wedding mistakes to avoid #2: do not defining a common idea of ​​marriage

It seems silly that two people so in harmony, in love and eager to spend the rest of their lives together don’t agree on how to organize their wedding!

But in reality, I assure you that it happens more often than you can imagine.

I am thinking, for example, about the most extreme case, in which within the couple we have one person who wishes to celebrate the marriage with a Catholic rite and the other who desires a civil ceremony. I talked about traditions in my article Wedding rites: religious, civil, symbolic.

In this situation, finding a compromise can be complex. Often the final decision is based on what families expect – and here we go back to what I told you about above.

Without touching such crucial decisions, it often happens to have spouses who have a different vision of their dreamy wedding. One wants something more sober, one more glamorous – or they struggle to compromise with their own Instagram generated wedding imagery. Some have always dreamed of getting married by the sea while others would like a countryside event. Some a cheerful and festive wedding, and others an elegant and peaceful reception. If in the same couple there are two completely different images of the wedding, the struggle is real.


In short, some important decisions must be made together in addition to the easier choices of menus, graphics, and flowers. And what if there is no common idea? Sitting down at the table with a good glass of wine and talking about it with an open heart might be the best solution.

Wedding mistakes to avoid #3: do not calculate the budget (or do it wrong)

piggy bank-for-marriage

An issue that you would never want to touch: the budget!

As uncomfortable as it may be, it is an important choice, one of those able to influence the entire organization: from the location to the dresses, from the set-ups to the entertainment. Not calculating a budget, giving suppliers a free hand could prove to be a risky choice.

Obviously, suppliers will offer you the best – and therefore most expensive – in their catalogue! And while this might be a pleasure for the eyes, you might not like it to fall in love with something you really can’t afford.

I still remember the mother of a dear friend who described to us several times how much that first wedding dress she tried on – over thirty years ago – remained in her heart. But she had to “settle” for a model that was within the budget. That is why I tell you: it is better to know how much you can and are willing to spend in advance.

The advice is to make a maximum total budget and divide it by the various expected expenses: catering, location, dresses, cars, wedding rings, set-ups, etc.

Before doing so, however, let’s remember to subtract a small part for unexpected events.

One piece of advice above all is: be realistic. Spending € 200 on flowers is unrealistic. Just as a budget of € 50 for guests if we talk about a banquet with traditional table service! In this case, choose one of the innovative formulas I told you about in the article Wedding banquet: tradition, trends, and budget will be a better decision.

Once the budget has been divided, we indicate the items in which we would be willing to spend more than expected and those on which we could “settle for”. Once in front of the suppliers, it will be easier to understand where to cut and where to “yield” to beauty!

And it is precisely on this theme that it is about the #4 of the wedding mistakes to avoid.

Mistake #4: do not defining priorities

Since I’ve already told you about it above, I’ll be brief here. Not defining priorities is a wedding mistake that risks leaving a sour taste that we really would like to avoid. Each couple has some elements on which she does not want to compromise: food, wine, dresses, etc. Knowing what you care more about is essential for you to be fully satisfied with your event. You – not your family, friends, the rest of the world.


Mistake # 5: too many messy ideas!

Being overloaded with stimuli, constantly looking at magazines, tv-series, sites, Instagram, or Pinterest pages, can only mess up our ideas! I am sure that, from the moment the vision of ​​marriage began to flash in the air – all the brides have started to look for inspiration everywhere.

Save this, print the other, this in your favourites, I make a screen of this, this in the inspiration folder. In short, at some point, your wedding looks more like a patchwork blanket than an elegant dress to wear once in a lifetime!

In this case, the advice is:

  • stop for a moment;
  • write down your ideas;
  • think about what you really want for your big day.

Then, together with the wedding planner, you will be able to put all the threads back together in a magnificent and tidy frame.


Wedding mistake that everyone (absolutely everyone) makes: do not proceed in the correct order

As I explained some time ago in my article Wedding theme: why it is important, if there is a fundamental ingredient in every wedding event, it is consistency. Each element must be harmonious and fit into the overall design of the theme. For this to happen, it is essential to proceed with a particular order in the choices. For example, we cannot choose the dress first and then the location. And then find ourselves with a completely inappropriate dress! I think of a satin dress with a long trail for a beach wedding. Certainly not the best choice!

This is valid for all elements. So let’s choose in order:

  • Church and location if both present, paying attention to the distances between them
  • Catering if the location does not have an internal catering service
  • Photographers and videographers

Defined the wedding style, the mood and the atmosphere you want to recreate, you can move on to the selection of other suppliers (flower and floral designers, graphic designers, musicians, entertainers, etc.)

Understood the importance of the correct order of the elements, let’s clear another of the most common couple’s wedding mistakes to avoid.

Wedding mistakes to avoid # 7: to trust friends and relatives

Your friends and relatives should be able to fully enjoy your marriage. They shouldn’t be responsible for roles that could be better entrusted to professionals! Choosing “a friend” for the wedding photos or the arrangements – could be a bad choice.

The reason is simple: your friend will not be able to enjoy the wedding, but he will probably be dying to do it … and he will not pay the right attention to his professional role!

At this point, it is better to do it alone. No one – other than trusted suppliers – will put our commitment into the organization.

However, my advice always remains the same: rely on wedding professionals. They will be able to tell you what you could do alone – without excessive stress. And what to delegate to suppliers to ensure the best outcome of the event.


Mistake #8: do not pay attention to contracts

Contracts are fundamental in many areas of life, and marriage is no exception. From the height of their wisdom, the ancients left us the saying “verba volant, scripta manent”. Making verbal agreements is a risk that it would be good not to take on our big day.

We need to pay attention to conditions, times, deposits and cancellations and clauses of date-change. We hope everything goes well, but we don’t know what might happen. A good amount of attention is also needed to the details of the services – to avoid nasty surprises. Here too, the role of the wedding planner is fundamental.

Linked to this wedding mistake to avoid, we have another one: not trusting suppliers.

Mistake #9: do not trust suppliers – and constantly interfere!

As I tell all my married couples, suppliers have the primary purpose of meeting our needs. At least to get some good advertising! However, I’m sure you also know that the results are certainly not the best when you work under pressure.

This is why we should let them know what we want and what we DON’T want and then…let them work!

I assure you that they will be able to give their best. And if not, if you have a wedding planner, she’ll take care of pulling their ears!

But let’s get to the last mistake – which all brides make.


The king of the 10 mistakes: do not enjoy the journey

There are so many things to do, the anxiety that everything will not go as we would like, and the times running out. Not enjoying the organization of the wedding is one of the most common mistakes of brides.

Wanting to do it all by yourself often only adds pressure to that should be the journey to one of the best days of our lives. My advice is to enjoy every preparation, every choice, every mistake. I assure you that you will miss all this from the day after the party!

Why should you live it with a heavy case of emotions? Here too, the presence of a professional figure from the wedding could be the winning card to make everything more relaxing. Plus, she will take care of the bureaucracy, contracts and suppliers.
Doesn’t that already seem like a good reason to choose it?

At this point, you know everything about the wedding mistakes to avoid and what to do to make your preparations unforgettable and exciting. And you know how significant the figure of the wedding planner is on this journey. How about walking it together?

Tania Costantino – Full Service Wedding Planner in Sicily