Change your wedding date: practical advices and a nice deal of optimism!
In recent weeks, the most frequently asked questions I’ve been asked are: “Should we change the wedding date?” “How should we postpone our wedding?” “How should I deal with my postponed wedding?”
I for one, I won’t hide it, I felt discouraged when I realized that in this time some couples would have had to shift their wedding. The COVID-19, the pandemic that continues to spread rapidly, leaves no room for interpretation. The only thing to do is to try to limit the contagion.
Life above all things, more than anything else. But what about our dreams?
Once I got over the first shock, I immediately set to work. Every couple should have the right to celebrate their marriage in safety and in a festive and relaxed atmosphere. The love that unites a couple who decide to get married is so strong and deep that it deserves a moment of unforgettable joy.
So I thought I’d give you some good advice and a nice touch of positivity to cope with moments like this when you need to change your wedding date. Then take a deep breath. Accept the fact that a problem has arisen before the forthcoming realization of your dream. Arm yourself with some patience.
Change the wedding date is a complex operation that requires time and focus. However, it’s possible. Just plan your work and be open-minded about the dates and conditions of the reschedule. With a clear, open approach to change, your dream is safe.
Become conscious of the situation
We cannot fail but to understand and share the discouragement you fell into when you realized that you could not celebrate your wedding on the chosen day. That day may be important to you or you have chosen it because it is related to a specific memory. Still, after all the time spent planning your special day down to the smallest detail, the idea of changing it is a hard pill to swallow.
Don’t be ashamed if you feel sad and disheartened, but try not to fall into victimhood or a hole of impotence. Accepting what is happening is the first step towards a positive reaction to the problem. As a psychologist, I want to advise you to express to your loved ones the sensations you are feeling, setting your heart free and finding the drive to start over again. So start working on rescheduling your wedding (read my advice on how to deal with this situation psychologically)
Stay calm and establish a roadmap
Remaining calm will allow you to act with rationality and optimism. Think that whatever caused the postponement of the marriage is still a temporary condition. Don’t stop dreaming and write down all the necessary actions to be taken to “pause” the marriage and postpone it to a new date. Approach the challenging task just like you would with a business project. Draw up an action plan made up of operations to be carried out and their schedules.
Contact all suppliers and suggest dates
First you will need to contact all suppliers and talk with each of them about the possibility of setting a new date for the event. Of course, if you have decided to get married in Church you will also have to contact the parish immediately and ask for the availability of the Church
This is probably the most sensitive point and you may be discouraged to see that not all suppliers have the same availability. My advice to you is to consider more than one date so that you have several options and you can get in touch with each supplier again and again.
This step will involve great flexibility on your part to take into account new hypotesis. For instance, if it becomes difficult to get a new date on Saturday, consider getting married on a midweek day. What about reconsidering the season you initially chose by imagining yourself immersed in the warm atmosphere of a winter wedding?
Put on hold or rethink your invitations
While you’re trying to find a new date, you’ll have to inform all the guests of the change of plans. If you have not yet printed the invitations, please contact your graphic designer to change the texts.
If, instead, the postponement of your wedding has been a wet blanket close to the wedding date (as is probably happening for the bride and groom in this specific period) think about how you can tell your guests without necessarily print the invitations again.
You might, for example, use your website to deliver your message in an original and exciting way. Alternatively, how about a video to share in which you reassure your loved ones smiling and serene by giving the appropriate communications?
Check the paperwork to be completed
The documents that you have probably already filed are valid for 180 days. Remember to discuss with your parish to request the postponement of the Consent to the Marriage. However, please contact the Civil Status Office in your municipality to find out exactly what to do concerning matrimonial publications.
Revise your wedding project
Once you have completed all the most urgent and necessary tasks to change the wedding date, you will be able to start again with the organization on the new date. With some suppliers of products such as wedding favors, or services such as photography, animation and music, there will be no modifications necessary in comparison to the original project.
So focus on those matters that need to be reviewed. Revise the menu according to the new season chosen. Arrange new dress fittings and reschedule appointments with your hair stylist and Make Up Artist. As for the arrangements, be ready to reconsider the initial choice of flowers. Buying flowers that are out of season would increase the costs. Rely on your Flower Designer who will be happy to advise you on the most suitable set-ups for the new season. Of course in accordance with the style, colour palette and your budget.
Negotiate with suppliers
Speaking of budget, I already feel that you are going to ask me: “If I have to reschedule the wedding, will I lose all the advances?”. If the postponement of the wedding is related to a force majeure cause such as the one we are experiencing, you can ask your suppliers to “freeze” the deposits and use them in the new arrangement. In any case if you have chosen real professionals you will find availability and adaptability. Be ready to face change with the correct openness and be ready to optimize your budget in a new way.
With these tips you will address the postponement of your marriage in the most positive and constructive way possible. However, if you are in this situation and need experienced support, please contact me and I will be happy to help you. I can answer specific questions, follow the entire process or help you negotiate with suppliers.
Beyond practical suggestions I would like to leave at the end of this article my message of solidarity and hope: a work by Riccardo Palazzi, who have translated it into illustrations. This way you’ll cope with these difficult times with a full-colored smile!